My Journey

Six months ago, my son had to see a developmental pedia for his speech delay. A series of assessment tools commenced, and was diagnosed with hyperactivity with symptoms of AD. In my heart, I knew the doctor was right, but nonetheless, my heart ached with such results.

As a teacher, I knew there is no real easy way to break strong issues to parents, and as I was in the receiving end for the first time, I asked myself, if I had loved and cared for him enough. Why was he a whirlwind of a boy? How did I contribute to that? I felt as though I have done too many mistakes and that somehow God has let me.

Ozzy has gone through six months of occupational therapy, concentration activities, and a significant structured life style change. His speech has improved significantly. He has now learned to say thank you, welcome, sorry, good night, and good morning. He has recently learned to say please. He is pleasant and kind to everyone he meets, he is generous and obedient to us. He can now sit and complete tasks, read a book, and pack away. I felt accomplished and proud of the progress he has made.

Today, we saw the developmental pedia again for a follow up. Another series of assessment tools were given. Today he was diagnosed with a developmental language disorder. Once again, with my heart broken, booked another slot, this time for speech. Feeling down trodden, but fighting enough to smile at him---things will be ok.

There are days that I feel like I’m at it all by myself, and days when even my son won’t take part in it willingly. There are times when I feel that the universe conspires and make even the small things difficult. It gets exhausting and consuming. I have cried buckets.

There are days in this journey when I feel that God has had His hand helping out. I stumbled into a good self help book, and a parenting book that has done miracles to my perspective. God has kept my head above water many times and has given me enough presence of mind to be functional. I am nothing all by myself lately. I am no expert, nor do I have established full proof parenting skills, OCD, or time to spend monitoring my son at home. I leave it all to God now because He’s got the plan. He loves my son as much as He loves anyone and I firmly believe that. He will bless our journey because we belong to Him. He will be there if not for us, with us until the end.